Twisted Alice in Wonderland
by Forever Hopeless
Summary: Alice is a normal human girl, but her life sucks. When she tries to commit suicide, she accidentally goes to Wonderland- where she realizes she is not normal, or even human! Her destiny is to save all of Wonderland with the help of a Mad Hatter, the Cheshire Cat, and the Queen of Hearts (not Ginger or the Queen of Farts) from the evil King of Clubs. Is being made into a YouTube vid
1. Chapter 1

(AN: Hello, my wonderful fluffballs! This is my first Alice in Wonderland fanfic, BUT it is not just any fanfic: this story is dark. It is depressing. Even if it doesn't seem like your type, please read because it gets REALLY FUNNY later on. In a few years we are going to act out this story and post it on YouTube, please go watch it when it's posted! We will begin filming in June, 2016, when we all graduate. Hope you enjoy it!)

Prologue

A small girl, pale to almost a sickly degree, had wedged herself between a bookshelf and a wall. It wasn't that good of a hiding place, but it was the best she could come up with in her current panicky state. A muffled sob escaped her throat; she knew all too well what would happen if _he_ found her.

Footsteps approached, undoubtedly following the sob that she had tried so hard to hold back. _His_ face appeared, red with rage, his eyes, two black pools of hatred, bore into hers. His breath stank of alcohol, and he raised the empty bottle above her. Time seemed to slow, the bottle staying suspended in the air, the fearful eyes of the child fixed upon it, until it came crashing down on her head.

This is what happens when _he _finds her. Father.

Father dragged her out of her hiding place, his shouts slurred.

"Useless Alice! Stupid, ungrateful child!" He slapped her across the face. "You took it! You took my moonshine!"

"Father- no- I didn't take it, I swear- you drank it-" Alice protested.

"Liar! Don't talk back to me!" He raised his fist, then everything dissolved into calm, peaceful blackness.

Alice, innocent little Alice, hated Father.

**(AN: This chapter is only short because it's the prologue. Review?) **


	2. Chapter 2

11 years later

"Emo girl."

"She's such a freak, a witch I bet."

"Too ugly to be a witch."

"Aren't witches supposed to be ugly?"

"Not as ugly as she is."

Their taunts surrounded Alice as she got off the school bus, stumbling from that one kid who always tried to trip her. Bullies. However, they still weren't as bad as what awaited her inside her house.

She entered silently, hoping he wouldn't notice her, but there he was, waiting at the top of the staircase.

"Where have you been all day?" he asked, eyeing her the way one would eye moldy cabbage. "Have you become a prostitute, finally, so you can help pay the bills? I always knew you were a slut."

"I was at school, Father-"

"Don't talk back!"

"I was just answering the question-"

Father, tired of her mouth, pushed her down the stairs to shut her up.

Nest door, the neighbors could see their silhouettes through against the curtains on the window. They could see a man beating his daughter until she collapsed. But they did nothing.

When Alice regained her consciousness she crept up to her room and cried. She easily fit into the insults the school kids called her. _Emo girl. _But she didn't want to be 'emo'. She just wanted to be happy. How could she, though, when her family and her peers hated her? She had tried, in the past, to get help, but no one had listened. Well, Alice had learned her lesson; if no one wanted her, it was best to leave.

She drew the razor across her wrist, the pain sweet because _she _was controlling it, not her father. All the sorrow seemed to seep out of her through the slashes on her skin, leaving her with a clear head.

Outside, a smiling cat was sitting in a tree, admiring the sunset, when Alice appeared. She climbed the tree, a rope in hand. The smile slid from the cat's face when he realized what was happening; one end of the rope was tied to a branch, the other was around Alice's neck. She took a deep breath and jumped, hanging herself, it seemed to the ever-watching neighbors. However, Alice was not dead, or even dying; she was falling down a rabbit hole.

The cat examined the human hanging from the tree. It was alive, but the soul was not in it.

"Odd. I was successful in my attempt to send her to Wonderland." The cat pulled the passageway- a small, silver key- from Alice's fingertips, then disappeared into thin air as the neighbors rushed out. Not that they'd be able to see him- humans couldn't see creatures from Wonderland- or go there for that matter.

"She's breathing, call 911."

"We should have helped her earlier, we knew what was wrong... we knew this would happen eventually.."

"Now it's probably too late to help her..."

The neighbors, indeed, were very much at fault.


	3. Chapter 3

While Alice's body was rushed to the emergency room, Alice's soul, which looked exactly like Alice for simplicity's sake, was still falling.

_Am I going to Hell or something?_

At last, she landed on a concrete floor in the middle of a long hallway, which was lined with cages. There were people in the cages, but they didn't notice her; they just sat there mumbling, and occasionally screaming.

What looked like a guard was coming toward her, but when she turned to run, another was behind her. _I'm in Hell. And there's no escape. _

Suddenly, the guard wearing the badge saying '9 of Clubs' stopped in shock. "A... human. That's impossible, even with a key, humans can't get to Wonderland."

"A human? What are you going on about?" The other guard, 8 of Clubs, judging from his name tag snapped.

"Boss!" 9 shouted. "A human just landed in the hallway!"

A tall figure with a silver crown appeared at the end of the hallway. His quick strides carried him directly in front of Alice. "Alice?"

"What do you want?" Alice snapped, realizing too late that she'd just admitted that she was, in fact, Alice.

"I've been waiting for you. Fifteen years, in fact, I've been anticipating the arrival of this... human," he murmured.

"I'm only fifteen years old, though," Alice told him.

"But... King of Clubs... humans can't get to Wonderland!" 8 protested in confusion.

"Alice was born within this very prison, roughly fifteen years ago. Her parents were unable to care for her, made her as human as possible with the help of magic, and sent her to Earth to live there," the King of Clubs explained. "She is no longer of this world, but, although humans can see and interact with her, she is not human either. I did not realize I needed her to win the war until she was sent away, but no matter. She is here now. Lock her up."

The guards obeyed, tossing her into a cell that seemed empty at first, but soon a soft voice whispered in Alice's ear. "Hello, my dear. Interesting story you've got."

The voice was very calming; it was smooth like the King's, but different in the way it seemed to radiate friendliness, not cruelty. All the same, it startled her, and Alice's scream mixed with those of the other prisoners'.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." The source of the voice turned out to be a rather good-looking youth, perhaps a few years older than Alice herself. His dark hair was rather greasy, probably from the lack of a shower in the cell, and reached past his shoulders. His brown eyes looked intrigued.

"Who are you? Where am I?" Alice asked shakily. "Am I in hell?"

"Oh, my manners. Pardon me. My name is Indigo Dawn," the youth informed her. "Welcome to the King of Clubs' Institution for those who will soon be suffering from Extreme Cases of Mental Insanity."

Alice stared at him blankly.

"This is where approximately one fourth of Wonderland is tortured until they lose their minds," Indigo explained.

"Tortured? Why?! And no one's bothered to explain; what on Earth is Wonderland?" Alice asked rapidly.

"Forgive me, I'd forgotten what they'd said about you being raised by humans," Indigo murmured. "Wonderland isn't on Earth, so it's improper to ask what on Earth it is. Wonderland is a different world all together, made up of four kingdoms; Club, Heart, Spade, and Diamond. The Club kingdom, unfortunately, is ruled by a lunatic, the current King of Clubs. He's trying to make Wonderland one huge prison, with him it's only ruler. And the torturing? He enjoys it immensely, not to mention it makes cards, or, in your words, people, easier to control.

"When he can, he captures cards from other kingdoms. I, for example, am a knave of the Heart Kingdom."

"How'd you get captured?" inquired Alice.

"Ah... I don't know." Indigo admitted. "I often loose random bits of my memory. The Queen of Hearts should send someone to get me out of here soon, though. And, since you are vital to the King of Clubs' plans, she'll want to rescue you as well."

"So, we have to wait," Alice mumbled. "For who knows how long"

"And get tortured," Indigo reminded.

"What?!"

The guards were waiting at the doorway, smiling evilly.

"I'm so sorry, my dear," Indigo told her softly.

The guards unlocked the cell and dragged Alice away.


	4. Chapter 4

The guards took Alice to a room that made her horrifyingly dizzy; a chessboard pattern was painted on the walls, ceiling, and floor. If you weren't looking at it directly it seemed to spin.

Even more horrifying than the decoration, the King of Clubs was standing in the middle of the room, wearing the same sick smile as the guards.

"Hello, Alice," he said smoothly. "You get to be tortured by none other than me. Aren't you a lucky little thing."

"What do you want from me?" Alice hissed.

"I just wanted to get my little girl back," he answered, smirking. Alice's eyes flew open wide. "That's right, sweetheart. I'm your father, not whichever human you've called daddy all your life. Oh? What's this? I see pain in your eyes when I mention him. Was he not good to you? Did you not fit in there? Did the potion that your useless mother feed you to help you fit in not work? Never fear, sweetheart. You'll fit in here. With all the other crazy cards!"

The King of Clubs let out a maniacal laugh as the guards chained Alice to a chair.

Alice lost track of the time that passed agonizingly slowly in a flurry of hot knives and whips biting into her skin. The room, ever spinning, in addition to the smell of her spilt blood, made her feel sick. At last, it was over, and she was delivered back to her cell, throat raw from screaming.

Indigo wasn't there at first, but was returned by guards minutes later, as bruised and bloody as Alice herself.

"You look awful," Indigo told her after the guards left.

"Thanks," Alice replied dryly.

"I didn't mean it like that- you're quite beautiful, actually- but so many injuries, and the sadness in your eyes that I wish wasn't there.." murmured Indigo. "Here, let me clean your wounds. I shall bind them with my shirt."

"It's cold. You'll freeze without it!" Alice protested.

"Not if we stay close together. You know... share body heat," he replied, taking off his shirt. He began tenderly cleaning and binding her wounds.

"How'd you get to Wonderland, anyway?" he asked, still working. "You already looked beat up when you got here."

"That was from my father back on Earth. He was kind of abusive..." Alice said quietly. "I tried to kill myself to get away from him, but I ended up coming here instead."

Indigo finished tending to her wounds and put his arms around her. "I'm so sorry.. It seems you've gone from one hell into a worse one."

"No."

"Pardon?"

"It's not worse. I mean... getting tortured sucks. But at least now I have a friend. That's something I've never really had before," Alice admitted, not meeting his eyes until the last second. "I'm forever grateful to you."

Hesitantly, Indigo leaned forward and kissed her. It was nothing more than his lips on hers, but it was no less passionate than it would have been if they'd went further. They fell asleep in each others' arms, telling themselves it was only because of the cold.


	5. Chapter 5

A smiling cat appeared outside the cell around midnight, holding the keys to it. He unlocked it and whispered, "Pst! You there! Let's go!"

Alice awoke at once, taking in the cat and the open door. "Indigo! We're free!"

"I'll be there in a second. I gotta find a shirt," Indigo muttered sleepily.

Alice rushed out of the cell and up to the cat. "He said he's coming-"

"Alice, is it?" the cat interrupted. "You tried to kill yourself. I sent you here. Now, let's go!"

"Wait, what about-"

There was a clatter as another cell was opened, and a shirt was wrestled off one of the crazy cards.

"Sorry about that," said a female with long orange hair and a crazed look in her eyes. "I just woke up shirtless, with no memories of the past few days. Rather disturbing."

"I suppose that means you failed the mission, Hatter," the cat grumbled. "Come on, the guards-"

"STOP! What about Indigo?" Alice interrupted. "You have to save him, he said he'd come in a second-"

"No. My mission was to save Hatter, and, if I could manage it, you," the cat insisted.

"He said he was a Knave of Hearts, and he'd be rescued-"

"I'm a Knave of Hearts. The only other is at the Queen's castle," Hatter cut in. "Right, Ches?"

"Indeed. This Indigo was probably a Club, acting like your friend so he could spy on you, the cat- Ches- told her.

"He's not in our cell," Alice observed. "Where-"

"Probably alerting the guards. Hurry!"

"But... I... I loved..." Alice mumbled.

"To the Jabberwocky!" Hatter said, grabbing her.

Ches gently lifted the keys from the hands of a sleeping guard and unlocked the door to outside. Once the door was safely closed, with the three of them on the other side of it, Ches vanished through the wall to replace the keys.

"He can walk through walls," Hatter explained. "Come on, get on the Jabberwocky."

Hatter led Alice to a creature that looked half dragon, half Loch Ness monster. "This is Jabberwocky," Hatter explained. "Up onto his back! Don't worry, he won't bite."

Alice hesitantly climbed up onto the Jabberwocky, Hatter and Ches following. Once they were safely aboard, Jabberwocky took off into the night, flying high above an ominous looking forest.

"I suppose you'll be wanting explanations," Ches told her. "I am the Cheshire Cat, Knave of the Diamond Kingdom, but I'm helping out the Heart Kingdom for the war. I happened to be on Earth the other day, and I found a human trying to kill herself. Knowing it probably wouldn't work, I attempted to send her to Wonderland. But it did work, because here you are; this, you already know."

Hatter patted Alice on the head.

"Uh, Hatter... you stole that shirt from a crazy card, didn't you?" asked Ches.

"Yep. I figure if you're crazy, you don't need clothes," Hatter said cheerfully.

"By that logic, everyone in Wonderland should be naked," Ches reminded her. "Including you, _Mad _ Hatter."

Hatter shrugged. "Hey human. If you're human, and humans can't come to Wonderland, how did Ches manage to send you here?"

"The King of Clubs told me that I was born in Wonderland, but my parents couldn't keep me, so they turned me human with magic and sent me to Earth to live," explained Alice.

Hatter gasped and nearly fell off the Jabberwocky. Ches turned around, giving her a _look. _

"What?" asked Alice, confused by the silent conversation that seemed to be going on between them. She turned to look at Hatter.

"Nothing," insisted Hatter, flashing her a rather unconvincing smile.

"Best for all of us to get some sleep," decided Ches.

"But...human... did he happen to say who your parents were?" Hatter asked.

"Ah... no," Alice lied. They weren't the only ones who could keep secrets.

The rest of the trip passed in silence.

**(AN: last chapter for today, I will try to update tomorrow, Monday the 30th)**


	6. Chapter 6

**(AN: Day two of updating, I have one follower of this story and ZERO REVIEWS. Please review people, even if it's bad, I LOVE feedback from you guys. Constructive criticism is welcome. )**

Alice slept on and off as the Jabberwocky flew, constantly worried about falling off. She also worried about the fact that there was a smiling cat and a mad hatter aboard... and the fact that she was on the back of a mythical creature. That was pretty frightening as well.

The sun had begun to rise as they descended, landing in front of an imposing castle. It was not the kind of castles in fairytales; this castle seemed to be ready for war, with canons peeking out and a sort of threatening orb encircling it almost like a bubble. The only thing beautiful about it was, to Alice, a large red rose window set in the dull grey stone.

Alice followed Ches and Hatter off Jabberwocky and inside.

"Rescue mission successful," announced Ches.

"Very good, Cheshire," said a woman with a gold crown upon her head, presumably the Queen of Hearts. She was sitting on a simple looking chair, which Alice supposed served as her throne. "Tuna?"

Ches gladly accepted the reward of canned tuna as the Queen of Hearts made her way over to Alice. "What. Is. This?"

"Human," Hatter answered.

"Human? Peculiar," murmured the Queen."What's your name, human?"

"It has a name?" exclaimed Ches and Hatter in unison.

"Alice," replied Alice.

"Welcome to Wonderland, Alice," the Queen of Hearts told her.

"This is my friend, Ginger," informed Hatter.

"My name is not Ginger!" shouted the Queen. "I don't even have red hair!" She motioned to her straight, black hair. "You! You're the ginger one! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

"She wouldn't really kill me," said Hatter cheerfully, as the Queen pressed a sword against Hatter's throat. "She's just so cute when she's mad, so I do all I can to aggravate her."

"Mad?!" the Queen shrieked. "You're the one that's mad, not me, no, you're the lunatic, couldn't say a sane thing if you tried. Mad!"

"Ginger!"

"Not Ginger! I am the Queen of Hearts!"

"Queen of Farts."

"I do believe you are scaring the human," said a voice. The voice was extremely deep, and if Alice had to choose a word for it she would choose glum, in spite of the fact that it wasn't sad, exactly. Depressed maybe, but definitely calming in its own weird way. The calmness disappeared when the owner of the voice revealed himself to be a six-foot tall carrot. "Aren't they scaring you, human?"

"I have a name, you know," Alice sneered.

"It has a name?" asked Hatter and Ches again.

"I have a name," repeated Alice testily. "It is Alice. Remember that!"

"I daresay the human thinks you're all utterly raving by now," muttered Carrot.

"Very well. We shall do something normal. Like... go to tea," decided the Queen of Hearts.


	7. Chapter 7

**(AN: Last chapter for today. I hope to update tomorrow, but it might be on Wednesday instead.)**

"Tea time is at four," Alice protested as their little group set off outside.

"Tea Time comes along whenever he wants to," Hatter corrected as they crossed the castle grounds.

"That's impossible," argued Alice. "Time doesn't have a mind of its own, and it can't just go wherever it wants. Time is a straight line, plain and simple."

"No, actually, Time is a person."

"Ridiculous. How is it that I beat time in music class-"

"See, that's why you've never met him. Time doesn't like to be beaten," scolded Hatter as they entered a magical forest.

"Stop gossiping about Time!" Ches interrupted. "He doesn't like it when people talk about him behind his back."

"...I'm sorry, but where the heck are we going?!" Alice shouted.

"To tea," replied the Queen matter-of-factly.

"We're in the middle of a freaking forest!" screamed Alice.

"Where else would you have tea?"

"Uh, I dunno, inside maybe? At a table?"

"We are at a table," the Queen pointed out as they arrived at a table.

"Why is there a table in the middle of a freaking forest?!"

"For tea."

They all sat down on the table (quite unfortunately there were no chairs, so they were sitting directly on the table) and Carrot proceeded to serve them.

"Biscuits, human?" Carrot held out a plate of greenish looking biscuits. "Or perhaps some of my relatives?" He held out another plate, this one full of carrots.

"Just tea, thanks," muttered Alice.

"Alice!" Hatter called from across the table. Since they were sitting directly on the table, as I mentioned before, across the table was a very short distance away, thus Hatter was shouting right in Alice's ear. "Would you happen to know why a raven is like a writing desk?"

"Um... no?" answered Alice.

"Poe," said they Queen.

"Excuse me?"

"Poe rhymes with no. Were we not making a poem? It's the answer, you goldfish!" The Queen of Hearts was usually very sarcastic.

"Is that the answer, then?" Alice asked.

"I haven't the slightest idea," murmured Hatter. Alice glared at her for a long time, Hatter gazing back with a blank expression. After several minutes of this, Hatter overturned her full cup of tea on Alice's head.

"Your majesty!" sputtered Alice. "Hatter threw her tea at me!"

"Did she now?" the Queen asked, turning to look at Hatter. "Very good, Hatter."

"But, but, I'm all wet now!" shrieked Alice.

"So?" Ches shot back, pouring the contents of his teacup all over his own head.

"Really? Now what did that accomplish?"

"I thought cats hate getting wet," commented Carrot.

"It made the eff-you fairy appear!" exclaimed Ches. "Look! It's flying away with glitter and all the effs I give!"

"Bye, eff you fairy!" everyone chorused, waving goodbye to the little ball of sparkles that was fluttering among the tree tops.

"I would like to go home now," decided Alice.

"Hm, let me think about- no," snapped Ches.

"You can't make me stay!" protested Alice.

Ches pulled out a small, silver key and vanished it into thin air. "I just did."

"Before we let you go, you have to visit Ches' cousin, Caterpillar, so you can know your destiny," explained Hatter.

"I don't care about my destiny," huffed Alice.

"I think the eff-you fairy took Alice's effs too," whispered Ches.

"Everyone! It's getting late; we should go back to the castle now," the Queen interrupted.

"It's not late! The sun has barely risen!" shouted Alice.

"I beg to differ." Ches pointed at the setting sun.

"That's... not... possible..."

"It is possible," Hatter told her. "And, what's more, is it's entirely your fault! If only you hadn't insulted time earlier..."

The group abandoned the table in the middle of the forest and began walking back towards the castle as the sun sank in the sky.


	8. Chapter 8

"See, Alice," the Queen began, "The reason we need to know your destiny is because your an enigma. All enigmas go to Caterpillar so he can figure out what to do with you."

"So," Alice said, "Where's Caterpillar?"

"Back there," replied Hatter, pointing to the direction from which they'd just came.

"...WHY are we walking in the opposite direction, then?!" screamed Alice.

"Yes, why are we?" inquired Ches. "It is morning again, after all."

"Just to annoy Alice, of course," answered the Queen.

Alice facepalms, exasperated.

"This human appears to be hitting herself," observed Hatter. "Are they all that way?"

"It's called a facepalm," Alice explained. "It's used around incredibly annoying and ridiculous people. But back to the matter at hand; why do you want my destiny so badly?"

"To find out if you can help with the war," the Queen replied.

"Oh, the war. I forgot this place wasn't all annoying creatures that make me want to bang my head against a desk," muttered Alice.

"Face desk?" asked Ches.

"Indeed, Wonderland isn't all fun and games," the Queen corrected. "Where did you hear of the war?"

"In the King of Clubs' prison. My cell mate explained that the King is a mad, murderous lunatic."

They had come back to the castle by this time, and the Queen led them back inside. She sat on her throne raising her head high as if it were golden and magnificent, not just simple chair. "It goes further than that," she began. "I'm sure you've already figured out the ranking system of Wonderland; you can go from an Ace to a Knave, and all the numbers in between."

"As you already know, Carrot and I are the Knaves of the Heart Kingdom, while Ches and Caterpillar are Knaves of the Diamond Kingdom," Hatter clarified.

" The King and Queen have the power to increase or decrease a card's ranking depending on how much the kingdom benefits from them. Ace's and Twos are kept in prison, as they are mostly criminals.

"Three of the four kingdoms of Wonderland have always been good about ranking their citizens. The Clubs... not so much. The previous King of Clubs thought that some people were destined to rule and some were to be ruled over. He did not think that anyone less than a Knave was fit to be treated any better than garbage. He ranked his citizens according who to who was intelligence, giving the stupidest and greediest cards higher rankings because they would follow him blindly.

"He taught his son this, literally beat cruelty into his head. He tortured his own child. The King of Hearts and I couldn't let that continue, so we traveled to the Club Kingdom. In those days the forest and the dessert didn't exist, so it was fairly easy.

"Kings and Queens of Wonderland are immortal-"

"Really? Where's the King of Hearts?" asked Alice, as she hadn't seen him yet.

"He died."

"You just said that the King and Queen are immortal," reminded Alice.

"You interrupted me, Alice," the Queen snapped. "I was about to say that the King and Queen are immortal unless stabbed through the heart with the vorpal sword."

"Well that's still not immortal, that's just immortalish," Alice pointed out.

"Be quiet, goldfish, or I will chop off your head," shouted the Queen.

"I'm not a goldfish-"

"Immortish is quite good enough. As I was saying, the King of Clubs had the vorpal sword, and, as soon as he saw us, he murdered the King of Hearts. I then took the sword and murdered him. I let the Club Queen and Prince live, thinking that they had learned from the King's mistakes. The Prince had not.

"He kept the vorpal sword, used it to kill his mother, then hid it away. He chose no mate, leaving him to be the only ruler of the Club Kingdom; he is the current King of Clubs. The very next day he put every Club in the prison and created the forest and desert to help keep them from escaping... or from anyone to come rescue them."

"But you can fly across those with the Jabberwocky," stated Alice.

"Yes, he's our secret weapon," responded the Queen. "Uh, Ches... where is the Jabberwocky?"


	9. Chapter 9

"Um... Ah..." Ches stuttered.

"Cheshire forgot to park the Jabberwocky!" gasped Hatter. "Haha, Ches is in trouble!"

"Cheshire?" the Queen turned to glare at Ches. "Did you forget to park the Jabberwocky?" Ches nodded timidly. "Cheshire? Would you like to get your head chopped off?" Ches shook his head violently. "Well then, Cheshire, I suggest that you GET OUT THERE AND FIND THAT JABBERWOCKY."

Ches, filled with the fear of his head being separated from his body, ran outside in a panic.

"Haha, Cheshire, so forgetful," snickered Hatter.

"It is your fault too, you know," the Queen pointed out.

The grin slid off Hatter's face. "Aghhh! We forgot to park Jabberwocky! Ginger's gonna kill us!" Hatter frantically followed Ches out the door.

"I suppose we'd better help them." The Queen led the way back outdoors, where Alice discovered the eff-you fairy had returned, presumably to give Ches and Hatter back their effs, as they didn't seem quite so careless now. They were dancing hysterically in an excessively odd fashion.

"Jabberwocky, Jabberwocky, please come back," they chanted.

"What the hell are you doing?" sputtered the Queen.

"The Jabberwocky dance," replied Hatter. "I don't think it's working though... Jabberwocky! I offer you a peace offering! My brain!" She took a dime sized brain out from under her hat and waved it in the air.

"Hatter! Put your brain back in your head!" ordered the Queen. "To summon the Jabberwocky, you must offer it fresh meat."

"Oh," said Ches. "Alice should do then."

"Yes, Alice should do perfectly," the Queen agreed, shoving Alice forward.

"Jabberwocky!" Hatter screamed. "We've got fresh meat for you now!"

The Jabberwocky appeared in the sky, just a small black dot at first, but it grew larger as it approached. It landed, sniffing Alice curiously.

"Its name is Alice," Ches supplied.

"No!" Alice shrieked. "I don't want to be eaten!"

"Sully human!" scoffed the Queen. "The Jabberwocky's not going to eat you; it's a vegetarian."

"You said offer it fresh meat," reminded Alice.

"Offer it. I never said it would accept it."

"Oh."

"C'mon Jabberwocky, time to be parked," said Ches cheerfully as he and Hatter led it away.

"Now we must go paint flowers," the Queen demanded upon their return. "They need to be painted every day to keep them healthy and happy."

"Or, maybe you could tell me more about the war if you want my help so badly, hm?" offered Alice.

"NO! Flowers need to be painted!" screamed the Queen.

"Calm down, Ginger, we can do both at the same time," said Ches.

"No, we can't," snapped the Queen. "Painting flowers involves much concentration."

"Fine, your majesty-" Ches began.

"What are you calling her your majesty for?" Hatter interrupted. "She's not your Queen, you belong to the diamond kingdom; you don't have to be overly respectful to her."

"What else am I supposed to call her?" inquired Ches.

"Um, maybe her name? Ginger?" suggested Hatter.

"You call me Ginger you die," snarled the Queen.

"Just call her 'you'," decided Hatter.

"Alright," said Ches, then turned to the Queen. "Fine, you; you can paint flowers, you, while the rest of us explain to Alice whatever she wants to know, since you won't, you. Is that alright with you, you?"

"I suppose," muttered the Queen, though she looked rather sulky.


	10. Chapter 10

They headed out to a lush green garden, paintbrushes in hand. The Queen immediately began painting intricate details on a flower. Alice was not quite sure if she was supposed to focus on asking questions or multitask by asking questions and painting flowers, but she opted for the latter, carelessly drawing a stroke of red across her flower.

"So, Alice, what do you want to know-"

"NO! No, no, no!" shouted Hatter. "You're doing it wrong, flowers don't like to be painted that way. See, you made it cry!"

"Alice," growled the Queen, "did you make my flower cry? Do you want me to chop off your head, you filthy little goldfish?"

"What kind of insult is goldfish?" asked Alice.

"Yeah, goldfish are delicious," mumbled Ches dreamily.

"Indeed, Cheshire," muttered the Queen absently. "Alice, do not insult my insults, and if you make my flowers cry again, I. Will.

Eat.

You.

Understood?"

"I thought your favorite method of murder was chopping off people's heads?" asked Alice.

"Goldfish," growled the Queen as she pounced.

"I am not a- EEP! HELP! THE QUEEN IS EATING ME! CANABAL!"

The Queen stood up straight, deciding Alice was not nearly as tasty as the average goldfish and a dozen times more sassy (though goldfish are pretty sassy creatures). "Take her to Caterpillar, Cheshire. Now."

"About time we got around to that!" exclaimed Alice. "I don't even know why we wasted time painting stupid flowers in the first place!" Silence followed her outburst.

"Ooh, Alice is in trouble now," whispered Hatter.

All at once, the flowers began crying hysterically.

"Get ready to die!" snarled the Queen.

"Goldfish!" shouted Hatter.

"For the last time, I am not a goldfish," yelled Alice.

"No-there!" Hatter pointed at the goldfish swimming through the rapidly flooding garden. "Hello fishie!"

This was the last thing anyone said for a while, as at that moment the flood became so great that everyone's heads disappeared underwater, the goldfish still swimming...

...until Ches grabbed it and devoured it in seconds.


	11. Chapter 11

"I've got water in my ears," complained Ches after they'd drained the garden of all of the flowers' tears. "Cats don't like water, Alice, and I am no exception."

"At least you got a goldfish out of it," retorted Hatter. "Do you know how long it's going to take my hat to dry?"

"I apologize?" offered Alice.

"You'd better," snarled the Queen, her voice dangerously low. "And believe me when I say, if Caterpillar finds nothing special about you, I will take pleasure in beheading you."

"C'mon, Alice," said Ches. "It's a long way to the Diamond Kingdom and we need to be back before morning; we need the darkness of night to hide us. The King of Clubs has spies everywhere. If you're around other cards he will know who rescued you."

"Surely he already knows?" asked Alice as they set off through the woods they'd had tea in earlier. She could see the setting sun between the trees, casting an orange glow over everything.

"I had thought, at first, that your cellmate was a spy," began Ches. "But if he'd told the King what he saw, the King would have made contact with us by now. Threats and the like; he has an odd breed of pigeon that can carry messages through the desert and forest, but no other way to connect with the outside world, which makes conquering it kind of hard.

"This leaves the question, who, exactly, was your cellmate? I have never heard of anyone named Indigo Dawn, and I know both of the Knaves of Hearts. It's a mystery, I guess... unless..."

"Yes?"

"Unless the King had decided he didn't need you anymore. He could have taken a chip of bone for uses in magic..." gasped Ches.

"No bones," replied Alice. "Though he tortured me, so he'd have my blood..."

"That's just as bad," hissed Ches. "We must hurry, you could be in great danger."

Around midnight they arrived at a river, but it was so calm that Alice thought it was glass at first. The stars were reflected perfectly in the still water. She stared at it, dumbfounded. "It's so beautiful," she whispered, moving closer.

"No," snapped Ches, pulling her back. "This river is enchanted to kill anyone who touches it; they get dragged into the water and drown in a colossal whirlpool. Only high ranking Diamonds know how to get across it safely."

He strode over to a warped and twisted old tree and whispered something that sounded like, "Howdy, tree. I be wantin' to be crossin' over."

The tree stretched its limbs out over the water, lowering them into a bridge of entwined branches.

"There," said Ches. "Follow, Alice. Put your hood up."

They crossed the bridge into the Diamond Kingdom.


	12. Chapter 12

The Diamond Kingdom wasn't like anything anything Alice had ever imagined. There were tall, old fashioned buildings and cobblestone streets, but there were cogs and gears everywhere, as if they were inside a giant clock. Keyholes seemed to be scattered randomly; Alice spotted them in the oddest of places.

Stray cats roamed the streets, but they appeared to be mechanical; like most of the rest of the kingdom, they were made up of cogs and gears.

"Follow," breathed Ches in her ear.

Alice obeyed, tailing him as he navigated the impossible maze of streets until they reached a stone tower in the heart of the kingdom.

The massive building had no door, just a row of unusually styled locks at the place where it ought to be. Ches pulled out a ring of equally exotic keys and unlocked them with surprising speed. A portion of the heavy, black rock moved itself aside, creating an entranceway.

"Go on," encouraged Ches, motioning Alice forward.

The fireplace burst into life the moment Alice stepped into the dwelling, filling the circular room with a warm, friendly glow. The walls, like the outside world ,were covered in cogs and gears of all sizes, as well as diagrams of practically everything under the sun. A spiral staircase sat in the corner, presumably twisting and turning its way up to the very top of the tower.

"Nice, no?" murmured Ches, smiling fondly at her home. "This is my cousin, caterpillar." She pointed at a grey stone pillar that happened to be carved into the shape of a rather irritable-looking cat.

"That…. Is not a caterpillar," mumbled Alice, exasperated.

"Of course it is! See, it is quite clearly a cat. Er, pillar. Thing. He even smokes a hookah!" exclaimed Ches.

"…that does indeed explain some things about this place," muttered Alice.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing. Can we just get my destiny and leave?"

The two of them looked towards Caterpillar, who glared back with a bored expression on his face. "A human. Alice. Yes, I've been expecting you for the past two-hundred years. The King of Clubs daughter, changed into a human through a magical potion, shall return to Wonderland and slay her father. Wonderland will be at peace once more."

"Wait, wait, wait," interrupted Alice. "The King of Clubs is _two-hundred years old? _And You're expecting me to slay him?"

"No, no, no. The King is merely thirty, but two-hundred years ago this information was made known to me, so I could plan for what is to come," explained Caterpillar. "Of course, you are not expected to slay him, who knows why you'd want to get mixed up in this, but the fact remains that it's your destiny, your true calling in this life, and you will not find satisfaction in doing anything else."

"Surely I could still walk away from this, though?" inquired Alice.

"If you wanted."

Alice snorted. "It's settled, then. Take me home, Ches, I want nothing to do with this."

Ches shot a look at Caterpillar. "Do as the human wishes, Cheshire. Take her home, where she will live her life as an outcast of everyone, never truly understood, hated, abused, and unhappy. Take her back to what she was trying to get away from in the first place, where she apparently wants to go."

Alice froze in place, staring at Caterpillar.

"Is that not what you wish, after all?"

"Shut up," Alice sneered. "You know why I don't want to stay here. It's a dream, all of it! If I stay, I will start believing in this imaginary place, and when I wake up it will hurt so much worse knowing that it was only a dream."

Both Caterpillar and Ches, who Alice had started to think were the cleverest creatures in Wonderland, or at least the most sane, appeared completely and utterly shocked at her words.

"Dreaming? Is that what you think?" Ches said, laughing a little. "Alice, you're not dreaming. This is real."

"Prove it."

"I… can't. But isn't this better, even as a dream, than what you have to look forward to if you go back? I know what you're doing, you're giving up hope. Hope of being happy. Don't give up hope, Alice. Will you stay? Please?" asked Ches.

"…I'll think about it."

"Good," dictated Caterpillar. "Bring her back to the Heart Castle now, before the sun rises."

Cheshire led Alice quickly back through the Diamond Kingdom, then through the woods, where Alice picked a handful of silvery flowers that seemed to be glowing slightly, with petals that reminded her of little slivers of the moon.

Upon their arrival back at the castle, she offered the flowers to the Queen. "I, uh, wanted to apologize for calling the flowers stupid."

"Good for you," muttered the Queen grumpily. "Why don't you go deliver them?"

With a sigh, Alice went out to the courtyard and offered the flowers to the flowers. "My apologies for.."

"She picked our relatives! Murdered them!" the flowers sobbed, drenching Alice in their tears once more.


	13. Chapter 13

"You made them cry again, didn't you?" snarled the Queen when Alice returned to her, soaking wet and extremely pissed off. Hatter and Ches watched the two from a short distance, waiting for the explosion.

"You could have told me what they would do! I didn't know they took offense to the picking of mute, ordinary flowers," fumed Alice.

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

"No!" Ches demanded, stepping forward. "We need Alice. Her destiny is to slay the King of Clubs and restore peace to Wonderland. I'm afraid beheading her wouldn't be a very wise decision."

The Queen became silent, staring at Alice with an annoyed expression. "So, that's what we've all been waiting to hear. Will you follow it?"

"I'll consider it," snapped Alice.

"She thinks she's dreaming," supplied Ches.

"Dreaming?"repeated Hatter. "Silly Alice. If you were dreaming, we wouldn't be real."

"Exactly."

"What? No. Nonononono!" bawled Hatter. "I must be real… surely, I would know if I was a dream, an illusion… a wisp of something that is imagined and therefore unimportant to anything, anywhere, or anytime.."

"Alice, stop making Hatter question her very existence. OF COURSE WE'RE REAL, DON'T BE DAFT," shouted the Queen.

"Silence, all of you," said the deep, slow voice Alice had come to recognize as Carrot's. The orange vegetable appeared, looking annoyed. "Alice is a human. It's quite natural for her to have doubts about Wonderland. All we can do is hope that, in time, she will come to understand."

"Agreed," murmured Ches. "Now what?"

"Send her off to bed, I should think," responded Carrot. "She must be exhausted."

They glanced over at Hatter, who was sobbing in a pile on the floor, and the Queen, who was still looking decidedly murderous.

"Come on, Alice, I'll show you to your room," ordered Carrot.

Alice followed him down a long hallway, lit only by the candles that lined the wall. She couldn't help thinking it was a rather dangerous and therefore dim thing to do, and a ruler ought to have more sense than that. "It's impossible," she muttered as Carrot held open a door for her.

"Only if you believe it is. Good night," replied Carrot.

Alice sighed, examining her new room. It was, being in a castle, lavishly decorated, with red hearts practically everywhere. A simple white nightgown was laid out over the four poster bed, giving her something else to wear other than her still wet clothes. She changed quickly, and collapsed into the bed. Carrot had been right- she was exhausted- but she found herself unable to sleep, as she so often did at home.

She got up to look out the room's one window. She could see the castle grounds, and the outlines of the mountains to the west. Everything was lit up by the sliver of the moon, which caused her to remember the flowers that the flowers had been so upset about. She had put them in her pocket after, but now she recovered them. She was still awestruck by their breathtaking beauty, in spite of the fact that they were beginning to wilt.

"If only I had a vase…" she whispered. There was a knock at the door, and she opened it to find a hedgehog staring up at her, a glass vase clutched in its paws.

"A servant, I suppose? Convenient," she said, taking the vase. "Thank you."

High above her, on the castle roof, ears twitched at the sound of a familiar voice being carried on the wind.

_Alice._

The name had meaning, but it was blurry in his mind, with memories disappearing and new memories taking their place, as if his mind was being taken over by a new one. His head hurt, and he was forced to sit down until his mind cleared, leaving him with one set of memories, albeit a different one than he had had seconds earlier.

"Alice. Where are you? Where am I? What happened?" Indigo asked himself softly. The last thing he could remember, he was locked in the King of Club's prison, with a beautiful human and no knowledge of when they might escape.


	14. Chapter 14

Early the next morning, Hatter knocked on Alice's door. "Alice! Wake up!"

Alice opened the door irritably, dark circles under her eyes. "I am awake. In fact, I didn't sleep."

"Well, that's not a smart idea," pointed out Hatter. "How could you live properly if you're tired?"

"How could I live properly if one of you lunatics decides to slit my throat in the middle of the night? Where's breakfast?"

"We wouldn't kill you, Alice! Well, I mean, Ginger might, but, um…right this way for a little breakfast."

The dining hall's gigantic table was buckling under the weight of 'a little breakfast', which consisted mainly of Nutella. Nutella on toast, Nutella on chocolate, Nutella on more Nutella, and also biscuits were all piled upon the table.

"Eat up," instructed Hatter.

"Hatter! What are you doing, feeding this human the food of the gods?! Nutella is not for peasants, as you well know," barked the Queen, who was holding one of the Nutella covered muffins.

"Why would I want to eat so much of this stuff anyway?" muttered Alice, selecting a biscuit.

"BECAUSEIT'SSOAMAZINGYOUDON'TUNDERSTAND-"

"Hatter. What did I tell you about excessive amounts of sugar?" scolded Carrot. "No more nutella for you."

"NO!"

"Good morning, everybody! Arguing again, I see?" asked Ches, coming in.

" Carrot said I'm not allowed to have any more sugar or caffeine because he said it makes me too hyper so now I have to watch Alice eat nutella for breakfastbutIcan'thaveanyHELP!"

"Alice appears to be eating biscuits for breakfast, Hatter," Ches informed her.

"Biscuits?" repeated the Queen. "Where'd she get biscuits from? We only serve Nutella at this time of day."

"I put some Jabberwocky biscuits on the table last night," admitted Hatter. "They look strangely like regular biscuits, but are made from ground troll brains and dirt."

Alice began choking on the biscuit, spitting as much of it out into a napkin as she could.

"Alice!" screamed the Queen. "Troll brains are very expensive! Trolls don't have a lot of brains, you know, and at least a dozen were used to make that biscuit you just ate."

Alice's face turned a lovely shade of green, and she began gagging.

" Great, so now Alice is going to make me jealous by eating Nutella instead," muttered Hatter.

"No, that's alright... I don't have much of an appetite anymore," replied Alice weakly.

"Hm... Alice, do you play croquet?" asked the Queen.

" We are in the middle of a war, and here you are thinking about games?!" Alice gasped. "What kind of queen are you, anyway? A mad one? Because I don't like to be among mad people, you know."

" Oh, well you can't help that," insisted Ches. "We're all mad here. You're mad, I'm mad, the queen is mad."

"Excuse you, kitty kitty, I am not mad," retorted Alice.

"You have to be, or else you wouldn't have been able to come here."

"Well, it doesn't matter who's mad or who's not mad, and nor does it matter if Alice can play croquet or not, because right now we're all going to go outside and play. Alright?" bossed the Queen.

They headed out to the courtyard, where the flowers glared at Alice, and Ches and The Queen began playing croquet.

Hatter, Carrot, and Alice all stood off to the side, watching them. They were using hedgehogs and flamingos to play with, but they didn't seem to mind much.

"Do you reckon Ches is right?" asked Alice after a while. "About me being mad?"

"Quite possibly," responded Carrot. "But then, possibly not. Why do you ask?"

"This Wonderland... it can't be real," began Alice. "And that means I'm either dreaming or... hallucinating. And if I were to be hallucinating, it would mean that I'm mad, wouldn't it?"

"Why do you say that can't be real, Alice?" asked Hatter. "That it's impossible? I often believe up to six impossible things before breakfast. "

"Alice! Your turn!" called Ches.

Alice half heartedly hit the hedge hog with her flamingo, sending it sailing across the court yard…

"Wee!" squealed the delighted hedgehog.

…and into a window, which broke upon impact. The hedgehog bounced back, knocking over a variety of objects, including Hatter's hat, and ended its journey by colliding against Alice's face, knocking her out.

"Well then," muttered the Queen, ignoring the broken window. "She's one lousy croquet player."

"Indeed," agreed Hatter, picking up her hat from the ground.

"You don't suppose she needs medical attention?" asked Ches. "Or that we should, at the very least move her away from the croquet game?"

"No, that's alright. Just leave her there. On with the game!" demanded the Queen.


	15. Chapter 15

Alice awoke around noon on her own bed, Hatter sitting beside her.

"What.. happened.." mumbled Alice.

"You were knocked unconscious by a flying hedgehog," answered Hatter.

"OFF WITH ITS HEAD!" screamed the Queen.

"A different hedgehog, the Queen's, is going to be executed at 7 o'clock tonight for clinging to the flamingo," explained Hatter.

"…Is she really mad? Because before, when Ches said that, I thought he was joking," admitted Alice.

"Define 'mad'."

"Seriously mentally ill."

"Then yes, she is mad."

"Am I mad?"

"I'm afraid I don't know the answer."

There was silence for a few moments before Alice spoke again."It wouldn't surprise me if I was, really. Just another unlucky thing to happen to me."

"It doesn't matter if you are, Alice-" began Hatter.

"Yes it does. It matters," argued Alice. "I'm already a freak, I don't want to be mental in addition."

"It doesn't matter," insisted Hatter. "You're perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"You are the only person to ever say that to me. It's not true. Everyone I've ever met on Earth has hated me. The kids at school call me emo, and they tell me to go cut myself... and I do. I'm so weak, I even tear my own skin apart. I'm insane. And _it is not okay._"

"You don't ever have to go back, Alice," Hatter reminded her. "You can stay here, we can be the family you've never had... you can forget about everybody, even your father."

"How do you know about my father?" asked Alice, rising from the bed. "You've been watching me, haven't you? ARGH! Why am I even talking to you, you don't care, you don't understand. Not only am I going home, but I'm going as soon as possible."

Alice stormed out of the room, and Hatter was glad of it. No one, ever, had seen her cry before, and Alice shouldn't either. She burrowed herself into the blankets of Alice's bed, wondering how things could have gone so very wrong.

Alice hid herself away from Hatter, curling up within the shadows of the great hall, watching Ches smuggle the doomed hedgehog outside.

The Queen burst into the room, looking crazed. "The Spade Kingdom has been invaded! Quickly, quickly, Cheshire, we must leave at once!"

"What?" asked a rather dazed Ches. "Why immediately?"

There is a spy within my kingdom. I have only told two people how to undo the enchantments protecting the Spade Kingdom, and one of them I know has betrayed me in the past. Disguise the Jabberwocky! We're going in under cover."

The Queen hurried off. Ches stood there, shocked, for a moment, before rushing away as well. However, in his haste, a key fell off the chain strung around his neck.

"I heard what you said, Alice," Carrot said, emerging from behind her. "It was wrong of Hatter to do that to you; what you must understand about her is that she is never, ever serious. She finds your pain a joke. It was wrong of me to do this, but your happiness should come before my own… I made the key fall off Cheshire's necklace. You are free to go home now, if you wish."


End file.
